Catching Feels

I have been told, both in my role as director and in seeking my seat on the school board, that I have to have alligator skin.  I have to be able to take the verbal punch and stand up, brush myself off and move on.

So why is it that, in the professional world, there are so many decisions made based on whose feelings may or may not get hurt.  I mean, really?

Which is it?  Do we need alligator skin or do we need to make decisions based on whether or not a colleague might "take it the wrong way" and feel bad about him/herself.

How about neither.  I do not need alligator skin if people are responsible for their words and actions. No matter how angry, frustrated or hungry you are, you are still responsible for how you treat people.  And I still have a right to be upset.  Or not be upset.  Moreover, the decisions I make for students (or in your case, for your business) are not based on how others might feel about them.  If it makes someone look/feel like a bad teacher, maybe, just maybe, that person might consider some professional growth.  Or at least some reflection.

I am reminded of one of my favorite movies, The Invention of Lying.  No one can lie because it had not been invented yet.  Everyone spoke the absolute truth.  I often wish the world was like that.  Mostly because the things that come out of my mouth would be more socially acceptable.  It is important to be honest.  But just because one thinks it doesn't mean one has to say it.

I'm not saying walk up to anyone and tell them exactly how you feel.  But what I am saying is be honest with yourself first, and then be honest with others.  My bestie is one of the most honest people I know.  Does she hurt my feelings sometimes?  Yes.  Do I get over it?  Yes.  Am I a better person for having heard it?  Most of the time.

Imagine if we all had relationships where we could respectfully be honest with each other, make decisions because it's what's best, and not have to put on our alligator suits everyday.

Perhaps the next time we feel obligated to do or not do something, ask ourselves how we can better build the relationship we have with those it will affect.  Because let's face it, green isn't everyone's color.