I was having a conversation with a retired teacher and she was telling me how the last few years of her teaching career were wonderful because she had gifted and talented students. I understand why teachers love them. I was one of them. They are teacher-pleasers and grade grabbers and lovers of As. But when those darlings reach high school, they are... different. Entitled, argumentative, they lack as much motivation as the next student.
Give me the kids who need me. Give me the struggling readers, the absentee problems, the students who hate school. I know we can't save all the starfish, but give me a beach of washed up sea stars and I will spent every moment until I collapse tossing them back in to the Sea of Success (or at least the Bay of Makin' It). To me, those students are the ones who make my job worth it, with the blood, sweat, tears... Not a lot of sweat and hardly any blood, but there have been enough tears to fill an Olympic diving well.
Not that I didn't love my honors students; I did. And do.
As I make my shift to teaching teachers, the idea of saving all the starfish... hasn't followed me. This dawned on me the other day as I was collecting feedback on a PD I delivered. There are teachers who are eager to learn, those who can and will learn and adapt with or without me. I might accelerate their shift to technology integration or help them save time by doing the research for them, and may even contribute by collaborating with them, but they will be successful not because of me, but with me.
And then there are the other starfish.
Why do I not feel the same way about struggling teachers as I do about struggling students? Do I feel they should know better? Do I feel, as professionals, they should be responsible for staying current with pedagogy and best practices and standards just as every other profession is required? At least, successful professionals. There is the analogy of the doctor: would you want to visit a doctor who refuses to learn about new methods, machines or medicines?
Maybe I am scared. With the struggling students was I scared? Am I scared of the teachers who struggle? It's easier working with teachers who want to learn and learn quickly, but I have never been the one to take the easy way out.
Working with struggling students, I was put down a lot and pushed away. I just held on to them tighter. They always came around. Sometimes it was after they left my room for a new year and a new teacher, but in the end they always come around. I think of Elizabeth. She hated me. She would move around the room to avoid me. She would yell and cuss at me. And every day I gave her a fresh start and a clean slate. It was hard and sometimes I let it hurt my feelings. She left that year ("I am GLAD I am leaving this school and this class!"). And you know what? I saw her the next year. She was back. She ran up and hugged me and said she missed me. She didn't mention our previous relationship and neither did I. It is water under the bridge and all that matters now is her happiness and her education (She will be graduating this year).
So why can't I do the same for teachers? Or can I? Is their behavior as excusable as students? Why or why not? These questions are not rhetorical. They are reflective and need to be answered. Sooner rather than later.
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