This Time I Really AM Sorry

It was my sixth period class.  Their names were Keisha and Danielle.  Lovely girls, but to save their lives or the lives of their loved ones, they could NEVER. STOP. TALKING.

Since then I have learned about the power of proximity control and a good offense being the best defense, but I have also learned, in another lesson from my car, that there are kids who are going to talk no matter what.  And I know this, because I am going to speed.  No Matter What.

It's not that I hold any disrespectful for the law or authority, and it's not that I don't think that speed limits are a good idea (and that they are meant to save lives), it's just that, in the words of Ricky Bobby, I just wanna go fast.

You can tell me to stop speeding.  I will listen.  At least at first.  This thing is, I don't mean to do it most of the time.  I don't speed because I'm late; I just get distracted.  Or excited.  Or bored.

You can punish me.  I will feel it.  I have been pulled over about 50 times.  Ok, more than 50, but only like 51.  And not just for speeding.  I get pulled over for other traffic violations.  None of them are angry and most of them aren't even on purpose.  And none of them stopped me from doing it again.

Did you know you can pay a fee and then NOT get pulled over for 6 months and they will erase the record of getting the ticket?  Actually, you can get pulled over during that 6 months, you just can't get a ticket.  I know that for sure because the first time I did the 6 month probation thing, I got pulled over before my 6 months were up.  Twice.  But I didn't get a ticket either time.  So I am on my second 6 months for another ticket (which you can't do more than once in a 2 year period... unless it's close, and then you can, and I know because mine were like 16 months apart. And I did.)

You know what does work? Gentle, constant reminding and proximity control. When I see a cop I think speed and I check mine.  Even if I am not speeding.  I have been conditioned to do this.  My bestie, who is the best at gentle reminders, will say, "watch your speed" as often as I need it.  Without judgement and without threats.  I don't know if it annoys her but it doesn't annoy me.  I know I need constant reminding. 

Students don't talk during your lesson because they hate you.  They talk because they are excited, bored, distracted--all the reasons I speed.  They know it's wrong, and yes, even dangerous (talking during a fire drill always gets the "What if... and you couldn't hear because you were talking" speech). Walk over to them, lay a hand on their chair, their desk, their back.  Remind them, as Harry Wong would say, of the procedures everyday if you have to, of where they are, of what they are (supposed to be) doing. Be their bestie. Remind them without judgement, without threats.  Those don't work.  You can threaten to take my license away but I know if that happened all I have to do is not get caught driving (which, in all honesty, would be a GREAT motivator...) And I don't say that as a dare.  I say that because it's the truth. People drive every day on suspended licenses (I may have... Twice.))

Every time I get pulled over I am sorry and I didn't mean to.  When kids say that, they are telling the truth.  Instead of punishing, teach.  Help them learn to self-regulate.  Pavlov didn't threaten or beat the dog.  Teach them to condition themselves.  Before they become adults and breaking the rules costs actual money.  And points on your license.  Whatever that means.  

Maks, 6 Speed Manual, Turbo, 268 HP

This is Me: #SorryNotSorry

The greatest compliment I have ever received came from a teacher the first day of this school year.

"Hutch!" She waved.  "Have you seen Inside Out? I saw it and I was like, that's Kathleen Hutchinson!  You are Joy!"

I was flattered, nay, I was honored.  I had never thought of myself that way.  It's funny how others see us.  But, this may come as a shock, not everyone appreciates my... enthusiasm.  I am Joy.  I am Pinkie Pie.  I am funny, honest and energetic. I am loud, unapologetic and upbeat. However, more times than I have been compared to a Disney character in my job, I have been told to slow down, take it easy, pull back, cool it and tone it down.  I have been warned of burnout more than once. I have been told I'm too much, that I intimidate people.

Well, ya know what?  I AM NOT SORRY.  I may come across as silly, over-the-top or even dumb.  Sometimes I am.  I am a horrible speller and, until recently, I didn't know Julius Caesar was a real person (still unsure this is true.  Like REAL-real?  Maybe I knew this but it fell out of my head because I have to store way cooler stuff in there like song lyrics and movie quotes and fun facts I read online.)

Here's an honest confession: I GET NERVOUS.  People ask me: "how did you get up there in front over 800 people and be so energetic and fun!  I could never do that," they say.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE hearing myself talk.  It's my favorite sound in the world.  But I get so nervous in social situations that I just start talking, usually really quickly, and people mistake my awkwardness and inappropriateness for humor.  It's cool. Because the people that matter most know who and what I really am.

I am a teacher.  You might doubt my knowledge (I have like 5 college degrees) and you might doubt my skills (they are mad), but never doubt this: I care about kids. I will never back down, tone it down, slow down or simma' down (now) when it comes to students and their learning.  I ALWAYS want what is best for them.

If I don't fit your mold, that's fine.  I will find a mold one day.  Just like the Missing Piece.  And if not, I will, God willing, help students find their molds, what makes them happy, what makes them dance around, to shout and jump for joy.  Because, after all, isn't that what it's all about?